This was a hard weekend for me. I can't tell you one thing in particular that made it "hard" but a lot of thing combined, topped off with a dumb decision to weigh in prematurely, put me in a tailspin headed straight for self destruction.
The pity train made a special stop at my front door, and I didn't hesitate at all to hop aboard. I was so depressed. I cried. I yelled. I sent my kids to bed promptly at 7:30 so that I could wallow in my self pity for the rest of the night. I lashed out at my husband, telling him I just wanted to be left alone. I vented on the accountability group, only to sneer at all of the helpful comments/advice people offered. Yeah, it was pretty ugly.
I always do this to myself. I AM MY OWN WORST ENEMY.
I purposely "hid" my scale from sight (as in took it out of my bathroom and put it downstairs in a cupboard) because I know that the fluctuating numbers have been the source of my demise may times before. I KNOW THIS. I thought that by hiding it from sight, only allowing myself a ONCE A WEEK weigh in, I would eliminate the possibility for disappointment. I thought that this time I would be immune to the "2nd week blues."
I was wrong.
I'm still feeling discouraged this morning. Not as much as last night, but not nearly as energized or optimistic as I have in the past. The good news is that I've just pulled the cord to stop this pity train and get off. Parties aren't very fun when you're the only guest.
Today is a new day. A fresh start. A new attitude.
Today will be better, because I say it will be. Today the numbers won't be able to tell me how I'm doing; I'll know by how I feel. It is so important for me to remember, that on this journey, I am in charge. I am the one who decides which train to board; the train leading to pity-town or the one headed to happiness and success. The happiness and success train, I've found, is a lot more fun to be on!
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