Good Old Mr. Personal Sabotage

I have a lot of bad habits...and they're hard to break. I hit the snooze button on my alarm every morning. Twice. I stay up late until 11:00 watching TV, reading or to finish crafts (it's the only "ME" time there is). I personally, but subconsciously, attempt (and usually succeed) to sabotage every diet or weight loss attempt/program I embark....

I did it again last night.

Picture this:

There I was, minding my own business and making my kid's school lunches. Paige likes ham & cheese, Coleton Nutella, and my little 4 yr old Jadyn likes good ole' PB & J. Pretty routine night, aside from coaching my volleyball team's practice, my team also had a scrimmage, which made for a late dinner for the kids and rushed bedtime. So, anyway...back to the lunches. After I made their sandwiches, it was time for the chips. We only buy baked, because if they HAVE to have chips (and my kids HAVE to have chips) then those are better than the alternative. Jadyn likes pretzels, Coleton likes Baked Lays, and Paige likes Pop Chips. (am I a nice mom, or what?! such personalization.) I closed up the chip bags, except for the Pop Chips, and continued with the lunches and putting things away, all the while, subconsciously snacking on the Pop Chips. I had eaten about 20 before I even noticed that I was stuffing my face!

"MELANIE!" my brain was screaming. "WHAT the HECK are you DOING?!?" You see, not only should I not have been eating Pop Chips, but I shouldn't have been eating ANYTHING since yesterday was day 1 of my cleanse.

CRAP. That nasty old MONSTER of a habit, named Personal Sabotage (that I was doing SO WELL detaining) figured a way out of MY CONTROL. There it was, silently slithering it's way back into my life, desperately trying to snatch any control or success I had acquired. He was angry, he was ugly, and he was determined. This is what he looks like:

You know what though? This time Mr. Personal Sabotage did NOT win. He did not succeed in dampening my spirits or deterring me from my goal. No, he did NOT. I reeled that bad habit back into his hole and double locked his cell because I AM IN CONTROL.

We'll see what, if any damage, the sabotage attempt had, but at this point, all I can do is move forward.

After reflecting on the event a little this morning and last night, I've noticed a mean lingering headache and strong snacking urges this cleanse. The past 3 cleanses haven't been nearly as difficult to remain strong...but this cleanse happened to fall on my TOM. While I will complete this cleanse, in the future, as this is my first month on Isagenix, I've decided that cleansing during my TOM isn't a good idea for me. I am feeling tired and this headache will not leave. It may be a little too much for what I can handle. I'll continue to play things by ear, and adjust as necessary for what feels right for me.

I am so proud of myself. Not only did I survive my first sabotage attempt, but I'm not beating myself up about it. I'm not depressed, I'm not reliving it, I'm not discouraged! Old habits are hard to break, and your body will fight you and test your strength, but in time, old habits will be replaced with new habits. Until then, I'll just keep on keepin' on and do my best to remain in control.